Screaming In The Silence
by jasper4ever
Summary: Jasper is changed by a vampire called Maria, but after that, we don't know much about him. In this story, after his change he is drawn in to Maria's circle of friends. But what happens to him when he decides he wants to get out? Full summary in profile.
1. Chapter 1

Screaming in the Silence

Chapter 1: Chance meetings.

_A.N: This story starts in 1863, shortly before Jasper is changed. This is just the first chapter, and the story will finish before Jasper meets Alice. Big thank you to my betas, Bronzehairedgirl for her suggestions, and Pseudo Hedgehog for reading the first draft, and telling me to write a longer story in the first place. I do not own Twilight/New Moon, and no copyright infringement is intended. Enjoy._

"Sir."

I heard a voice behind me and turned towards it.

"Sir," panted Matthew as he caught up with me. I looked at his face. He was excited and a bit hopeful.

"Can I help you Mathew?" I smiled. Matthew was one of my best friends and we often spent our free time together.

"I was just checking you were planning to come with us to the village this evening. It being the last night and everything, lots of people are going – and you know what the men are like," he explained. "You always manage to calm them down if things start getting out of hand."

I smiled and clapped a hand to his shoulder.

"Don't worry about it Matthew, I'm coming," I told him. "Remind the others that we're leaving at 6 in the morning, and we won't be waiting for stragglers."

Matthew grinned back. "I'll tell them, Jasper. See you later, okay?"

I watched him head off in the opposite direction, then ducked into my tent. I looked around at the familiar objects, things which would be safely packed away by this time tomorrow. Aside from the small camp bed and the box containing my uniform, there was also a small desk covered with writing materials. I walked over to this now and picked up the letter I had finished earlier. It told my sister of where we planned to head next, after we left tomorrow. In some ways I hated writing to Margaret, because each letter could be my last. On the other hand, I liked having someone to talk to, someone I could tell almost everything about me.

A sigh escaped me as I folded the maps and sketches, and began to pack them into my satchel. What would our new destination bring, I wondered? Would I be able to sit at a desk and write to my sister again? Most of the time I liked the uncertainty that came with my occupation, but today it was disconcerting. In only a couple of weeks, my life could change completely. I pushed these thoughts away as I left for the village with my friends.

"Come on, Major Whitlock," my friend William called. "Show us how it's done!"

I grinned up at the young officer standing at the edge of the dance floor, and obligingly got to my feet. Who knew how long it would be until we next had a chance to enjoy ourselves like this again?

"All right Captain, I'm coming!" I called back.

I made my way over with several of my companions and found myself partnered with a beautiful young woman whose blonde hair was held back beneath an elegant blue bonnet.

"Would you like to have this dance?" I asked formally as the music began.

"It would be a pleasure," she replied in a sweet voice, and I took her slender hands in mine.

I was immediately struck by how cold her hands were. It was like holding a small block of ice. I looked down at her, confused, but she smiled up at me and we began to dance. If her hands were this chilly, it must have been colder outside than I'd thought. I brought my eyes back to her lovely face, and gazed down at her while we moved through the familiar steps, trying to drink in all of her astonishing beauty.

She kept her eyes shadowed by the brim of her hat, but her lips smiled sensually as we danced. She moved gracefully around the room, her simple dress clinging to her slender form. I found I couldn't take my eyes off her; she was breathtaking. Far too soon, the dance ended and she stepped away from me, then beckoned me over to a table.

"May I know the name of such a magnificent dancer?" I requested.

"Maria," she answered. "And yours?"

I was entranced by every move she made, and it took me a couple of seconds to answer.

"Jasper Whitlock," I managed eventually, "I'm a Major in the army stationed up the road," I explained.

"Really?" she replied. "That sounds fascinating. Tell me more, Major."

She tilted her head back to look up at me, and I caught sight of her eyes for the first time. I had to stifle a gasp: her eyes were a bright, ruby red.

"Your eyes!"

She gave another laugh. "Oh, they've always been like that. But don't worry about it Jasper, tell me about yourself."

I had to suppress a shudder, despite her reassurances. There was something not quite right about this girl with red eyes and cold hands. I pushed these thoughts away as I looked down at her, and was again mesmerised by her beauty. I began to tell her a bit more about myself, and we spoke easily about our lives.

We talked for most of the evening, and I only noticed how much time had passed when Matthew came over to let me know they were leaving. I hadn't noticed the time; Maria was so interesting to talk to.

"It was nice meeting you, Maria."

"And you, Major. Sorry you're leaving tomorrow. You never know, perhaps we'll meet again someday."

I smiled as we left, enduring the good-natured teasing of my fellow officers. My thoughts were still on Maria as I fell asleep that evening. As I drifted towards unconsciousness, one image floated clearer than the others: a pair of bright red eyes, staring up at me.


	2. The Battlefield

The Battlefield

Jasper POV

Pain.

That was the first thing I was aware of as I woke up. It took a few seconds for me to remember the battle. And then I wished I hadn't.

It had been more like a slaughter.

I struggled to raise my head a few inches from the ground, and cast my eyes about. All around me, I could see the fallen bodies of my comrades. Hopefully, some were simply unconscious, as I had been, and not dead. For many, however, there was no hope.

Cautiously, I tried to move each of my limbs, in an attempt to assess the damage. I winced. A broken leg, and what felt like several cracked ribs. I would mend, then, but I couldn't get up yet.

I put my head down again, trying to gather enough strength to sit up. I had to talk to the men, to put some strength in my voice to give them hope, so that they would pull through to live another day.

I felt guilt flow through me. It was my fault many of them were dead. I was their commander; it was I who had led them here. Why had I chosen to come this way? It had been a foolish choice, one I should have thought through more. Matthew had agreed with me over this route, but that didn't mean the blame should be lessened at all.

I drifted back towards unconsciousness, drowning under the guilt and anger that pulled me down. I fought to wake up, to help my men, but the current was too strong. I closed my eyes as the pain and fatigue claimed me.

Maria POV

I picked my way across the field of bodies, searching for one that smelled unique, one whose flavor I could appreciate. Over the years, I had become well practiced in controlling my thirst long enough to come across a body which would provide a more unique meal. I exercised this control now as the smell filtered through my lungs, making the hunger rise within me.

There.

My head snapped up and I sniffed at the air. That blood smelt stronger, sweeter. I moved quickly across the plain, letting my nose lead me to the broken body lying on the ground. I used the last dregs of my waning control to examine the human before me.

He was unconscious at the moment, and would probably recover if left to himself. I turned his face up towards me, wondering if it would match the eye-pleasing body.

My eyes widened as I looked at him. It was the man I'd spoken to a few weeks ago, at that dance.

"Major Whitlock," I murmured, "what's become of you?"

Seeing him now, I regretted not changing him when I'd had the chance. It had been clear watching him - and how everyone responded to him - that he was special. But I'd left him because I didn't want a new vampire around when I was on my own. Now, though, with Samuel here…

But my thirst interrupted my thinking, leaving room only for the thought of blood. I sighed as I looked down at Jasper again. I ran a finger down his mud-splattered cheek, then bent my head to his neck and sank my teeth into his soft, warm flesh.

I closed my eyes as the blood flowed down my throat. The taste was exquisite, and I inhaled deeply, trying to imprint it on my memory. How could anything match this? I tried to slow my drinking, to savor the moment - it wasn't everyday you came across blood like this. Had I not been consumed by the bloodlust, I might have again considered changing him. He would have made a good companion, but I was too far gone to hold on to such rational thoughts.

Suddenly, a snarl shattered the air around me, and I felt strong arms push me away. Samuel. I turned to face him, furious. This was my kill; mine alone to drink from. What was he doing, challenging me?

"What the hell are you doing?" I growled, moving so I was between him and the body.

"We have to leave, Maria," he snapped. "There are people nearby. Lots of them."

"And why should that warrant you interrupting my feeding?" I was still crouched defensively in front of him.

He drew back his lips, showing his teeth. "Maria, if we don't leave now, the people will see us. Hannah still wants to feed, but there are too many of them. I will not let her endanger us, and that means we have to go!" He was yelling now, and I was loosing my temper.

"Samuel-" I began, but then a cry interrupted me, and we both whirled to face the source of the noise, the man I had been drinking from. Jasper.

I gasped and dropped to his side. Now I was thinking clearly again I wondered if my venom would change him. Already it was beginning to infect him, but would his body be able to survive? I mentally thanked Samuel for interrupting me when he had – without him I would have killed Jasper. And now I'd had time to think about it, I desperately wanted the venom to work.

I wanted him to change; wanted to have him in my life. I felt hope rise within me as I watched him. His body was shaking on the grass, fighting the unstoppable venom as it was pumped into his bloodstream. I knelt beside him, trying to stop him from shifting too much. I would love to have him with me; to have his company, his thoughts, his body… Right now, however, that body was suffering, and I had to try and help him.

"Samuel, help me hold him," I ordered as I secured his arms. "He's going to hurt himself." I placed a cooling hand against his fiery throat, then looked up again as Samuel's mate, Hannah, came over. I remembered what they had said, that people were coming, and knew I needed to move.

I put my authority into my voice as I told them "You'll help me take him back to the barn?" It wasn't a question. I looked at Hannah's expression and drew my lips back in a snarl. "I knew him, Hannah. He'll be useful. People listened to him; he could persuade them of anything if he tried." Was it a bad thing that I'd noticed all this about him in that one evening when we'd met? "Now, I'm going to take him back to the barn. Come with me or leave."

She followed me when I began to carry Jasper across the meadow, heading home, and for that I was grateful, no matter how irritating Hannah could be. In truth, although I'd told them they could leave, I wanted others around me during the change. I didn't want to leave him alone, and that would make me vulnerable. I could trust Samuel and his mate to guard the area and bring me something if I got hungry. I wasn't sure how long it would take for Jasper to become one of us, because the venom was only entering his system from one place, even if it was a major artery. I would have sped it along a bit, but, knowing how little blood he had left, I didn't want to risk the venom simply killing him.

It didn't take us long to arrive at the barn we were currently staying in, and I placed Jasper on a pallet to wait for the change to finish. My vigil had begun.

Jasper P.O.V.

Pain.

If I had thought I was experiencing pain before, it was nothing to how I felt now. Fire burned through my limbs, threading its way downwards from my shoulder, or possibly my neck. It was hard to tell where the pain was coming from; it pushed all thoughts from my mind.

I tried to keep my mouth closed, to avoid screaming. An officer should never show pain in front of his troops. Where were the men, anyway? The last thing I remembered was lying on the battlefield. After that, I must have passed out again. But where had this sudden pain come from? What had happened to me?

The burning intensified as it made its way down the side of my body, obliterating all feelings save the pain. I heard screams, and knew that, despite my efforts, they were my screams. Was I dying, I wondered? It certainly felt like it. Despite my feelings telling me it was certain, logic fought against this idea. When the pain lessened enough for me to hold on to rational thought, I knew my injuries hadn't been this serious. I was no medic, yet I knew for a fact that this shouldn't be happening. But a fresh wave of pain meant I couldn't ponder this any longer.

I threw my head back in anguish, wishing I could return to the bliss of unconsciousness. I felt a coolness against my cheek, and wished it could soothe the fire in the rest of my body as well. Somehow, I had to be able to end this. There had to be some way of reducing the blistering heat that crept through my veins. Why wouldn't it stop? Why couldn't I return to unconsciousness, where the pain couldn't follow me?

The fire burned me.

That was all I could think of now.

I writhed in agony, held tight by its grip.

This had to end soon.

Why couldn't it end soon?

The pain made me cry out, betraying my feelings to the world.

The pain.

Pain.


	3. Phoenix

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.

**Author note: Thank you again to Bronzehairedgirl for her opinions and for helping me fix my mistakes. Also, I value your opinions, people! Let me know what you think. ******** On with the story…**

Awareness came to me like surfacing from beneath the waves. I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off me. I could move again. The pain that had held me captive for so long had finally relinquished its hold. It was fantastic. I felt reborn, like a phoenix rising from the ashes. It was as though I could run for miles, climb mountains, do _anything_. I felt so alive. I had to get up and do something, go somewhere.

But where was I to begin with?

I looked around the place I had been lying in for however long I had been ill. I was sitting on a makeshift bed, in a slightly shabby room with bare stone walls and some candles on a table near the single window. As I cautiously stood up, I was surprised to find I was no longer wearing my uniform. I frowned. Where on earth was I? And who had dressed me in the clothes I now wore? The last thing I could clearly remember before the agonizing pain began was lying on the battlefield. Someone must have found me and brought me here. But I still didn't know where _here _was.

I stepped towards the window to see if the view could give me any clues. Outside, the dark clouds hid the sun, and gloomy looking fields spread out across the horizon, towards a forest a couple of miles away. From what I could see of the building I was in, it appeared to be some sort of farmhouse.

I turned away from the window and contemplated my next move. Common sense told me that I shouldn't be able to move this easily after being in so much agony for so long. I was curious, however, and wished to leave the room in which I found myself, to try and discover who had brought me here. I turned to the door in the corner of the room and stepped towards it. As I reached out my hand, suddenly it was pulled open to reveal a startlingly beautiful young woman. My eyes widened as I recognized her. "Maria," I exclaimed softly, moving backwards.

"You're up."

Puzzled, I looked at her. I felt curious, but somehow I knew it was not my emotion, but hers. How could that be? What did this mean? I struggled for something to say that didn't start with "What are you doing here?" Eventually I gave up and asked anyway. She smiled at me, and gestured that we sit down. Then she started speaking.

"I found you, Jasper. You were on the battlefield. And then I brought you here."

"I'm not sure that I quite understand you. What was a young lady like you doing near the battlefield? And what do you mean, you brought me here? Why?"

"Oh, I'm a fair bit older than you think, Major Whitlock. And as to why I brought you here, I must confess that I believe you could be useful to me. Your recent... illness has brought out some interesting characteristics in you."

Something in the way she paused before saying 'illness' disturbed me slightly, as did her statement that she was older than she looked. I tried to find a nice way of asking what she meant, but she seemed to notice my confusion and asked, "Why don't you come with me?"

She led me out the door and down a corridor, then we stepped outside. I took a breath of the fresh air and was suddenly assaulted by smells. I gasped in surprise, and stepped back slightly. Maria glanced at me, smirking.

"So you noticed. Never smelt all that before, have you Jasper? Do you know what it is you're smelling?"

Taking a more cautious sniff, I shook my head.

"That is the smell of fields full of corn ready for the cutting. That is the smell of the three creatures who've been staying here for the last four days. That is the smell" she paused, "of blood."

I stared at her, shocked. There must be something wrong with her. I should take her to a doctor. She must have noticed something of my thoughts on my face because she laughed and said, "Let's walk a little further, and see if you can be convinced, Major."

I shook my head and kept quiet, unsure of what I should do next. As Maria led me in the direction of the nearby gate, I heard the sound of footsteps and glanced around to try and see whoever was making the noise. My brow wrinkled as I failed to spot the intruder, and I looked further away. I was shocked when I noticed where Maria was looking, and, following her eyes, picked out two people crossing the field some distance from us. Surely it couldn't have been _their _footsteps I was hearing.

"Did you get it?" Maria asked. I turned to her, puzzled, before realizing she wasn't talking to me. I was even more surprised when I heard one of the people answer. It was as though they were standing right next to us.

"We did, Maria. We left it back there beside the woods."

Whatever this meant, it obviously pleased Maria, and she beckoned me to follow her through the gate towards the couple.

The man appeared to be slightly older than me, with shoulder length dark hair pulled back in a ribbon at his neck. The woman was a similar age, but the way she had her blond hair pulled off her face into two plaits made her seem younger. As before, with Maria, I sensed a curiosity surrounding them. It was as though I was feeling their emotions, not just reading them in their faces and body language as I usually did.

"Jasper, this is Samuel and Hannah," Maria explained. "They have helped me look after you for the past few days."

Still unsure of Maria, and now her companions, I hesitated before extending my arm to shake hands with them. As I did so, I looked at their faces, and noticing something, couldn't help but jump back, afraid. Their eyes. Like Maria, both Samuel and Hannah also had red, demonic eyes.

I felt fear rise within me as I continued to back away. What were these people? What did they want with me? Hundreds of questions raced through my mind, pushing logical explanations away.

Maria, seeing my distrust, moved closer to me and took my arm. "You must not be afraid, Jasper. You need to understand. Come with me to the wood," she pleaded. "Come with me, and let me show you what you are."

Drawing on my army experiences to keep my unease at bay, I relaxed my body and let her lead me away from the curious faces of Samuel and Hannah. Maria walked faster and faster the further we went, until we were running effortlessly across the field, amongst the corn. It was exhilarating how fast we were going. I couldn't remember ever moving with such speed and grace. Truly, I had been reborn. My old body could never have done this. As we neared the trees, Maria let go of my hand and I ran ahead of her, caught up in the joy of going so fast. And then I caught a scent that pulled me up sharp.

It was the most delicious thing I had ever smelt. It made me powerfully aware of the ache in my throat, a longing for something to quench my thirst. I realized I was running again, trying to reach the source of this beautiful scent, knowing instinctively that it would be good for me. I forgot about the trees on one side of me, of Maria behind me, forgot about everything except this wonderful, overpowering smell.

It was getting stronger and clearer. There was no room for any other thoughts or emotions in my head apart from the smell and my hunger.

The next thing I was aware of was my teeth, somehow much sharper than usual, sliding through soft flesh as though it was paper. Where my teeth had passed, a liquid flowed down into my mouth. It was hot and thick as it dribbled down my throat, easing the tension in my body that the smell had caused. I sucked at the skin, thinking only of getting more of this inside me. I wanted it, needed it, so badly. It was as though the only thing that existed in the world was this beautiful liquid pouring down my throat. I didn't know what it was, nor did I care. At that moment, it was the best thing in the world, and I never wanted it to stop flowing. I could feel the life seeping into me with every gulp I drew into my mouth. It soothed my insides as it sank into my stomach and the more I drank, the more I relaxed. It tasted like nothing I'd ever tried before, and yet it was the perfect food. I could not identify the exact smell at the moment, but it didn't matter. I knew it was good: I didn't need to think about it right now.

Gradually, the amount of liquid flowing into my mouth slowed down. When it ceased to flow altogether, I came back to my senses somewhat. Suddenly, I was aware of the wind rustling the trees beside me, and the corn crushed beneath my feet. I was aware, too, of the fact that I was clutching a body, and that both of us were drenched in blood. Aghast, I leapt back, letting the body of the man drop to the ground. I stared down at myself in horror. What had I done?

It slowly sank in that it must have been blood that I was drinking. This alone was enough that I backed away further, shaking my head in mingled horror and disbelief.

"No," I murmured to myself. "No, no, NO!" I yelled the last word, spinning around to see Maria walking towards me. I had so many questions I needed to ask, so much disgust with myself that I needed to express. But one look at Maria walking away from another body, lying still on the ground, silenced me at once.

"Do you see now, Jasper?" she asked, somehow serene despite the blood she casually wiped from the corner of her mouth.

"We are not human. We are far more than that. We can run like the wind. We can lift ridiculous weights. We have amazing, unique red eyes. And we require the most wonderful of foods, as you have just discovered. We, my Jasper, are vampires."


End file.
